To experience fearlessness, it is necessary to experience fear

A few years ago I began going to the Shambhala Medtiation Center of San Antonio.  Studying Shambhala Buddhism and living Shambhala Warriorship has had a tremendously positive effect on my life.  So much so that I will be going to Sutrayana Seminary this Summer at the Shambhala Mountain Center.  This is to make a stronger connection to the Shambhala Buddhist lineage and to eventually become a teacher in the sangha.  As part of my preparation for this seminary, I have been contemplating a set of slogans by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, the founder of the lineage.  I thought some of you Gaians might be interested in these, so I thought I'd share my thoughts on these slogans regularly in my blog.  If interested, you can receive these slogans weekly from OceanofDharma.com.

TO EXPERIENCE FEARLESSNESS, IT IS NECESSARY TO EXPERIENCE FEAR

When I first began studying Shambhala Buddhism, I found it interesting that the term "fearlessness" was used to describe a warrior as opposed to "fearLESS".  Why would the goal not be to be completely absent of fear? 

We experience fear every day.  It can be fear of death, fear of change, fear of boredom, or fear of the present moment.  Some fear is good, such as fear of being eaten by a bear or fear of being hit by a flying baseball bat, but we deal with most fear negatively by developing cocoons or masks.  As soon as something feels uncomfortable, we either push things away or cling to something else.  This has been the story of my life.  I would carry around a mask for almost every situation.  A mask for work, a mask for home, for girlfriends, family, etc.  These are created because of a fear of what is happening at the present moment.  It's as if I was trying to outsmart a moment by pretending to be something else.  After slowing down my mind through meditation, I began to notice my aversion to these situations and how it was causing me to miss what was truly going on around me.  A simple email from my boss asking to meet with me instantly triggered the creation of a cocoon to protect me.  My mind would race of thoughts of what could happen, mistakes I likely did to merit the meeting, and many other story lines; anxiety flared.  In reality, my boss could simply have a question, wanted to pat me on the back, or in fact did have a problem with my performance.  But allowing space for the situation to arise gives me the opportunity to fully address her concern and--if at fault--fix the problem.  This is fearlessness. 

Being a Shambhala Warrior doesn't destroy fear or see no need for it, but it creates confidence to face the present moment.  Our cocoon and other armor is dropped.  Experiencing the fear that arises in myself gives me a taste of what my life could be without its stranglehold.  In Buddhism, this would be similar to how experiencing samsara--cyclical suffering--motivates our search for liberation.